Would You Like Another Meeting Or a Cup Of Tea Instead?

With apologies to The King’s Breakfast by A.A. Milne

by Peter Trolove



An angler went a fishing, his day became a frown

With plants and toxic algae up and water levels down


In his search for missing fish as the rivers turned to slime

His thoughts became more urgent, “we are running out of time”.


An Auckland money changer keyed by politics of greed

Simply changed the water rules to take all that he would need


With money as his focus as with many of his ilk

“There is money to be made boys turning water into milk”


Now no one owns the water a comment Key would make

So he gave it to his farming friends using money from the State


Key replaced Ecan’s councillors with commissioners of his own

Who employed the water users to run the Water Zones


“Consultation” “Aspiration” were the words that Ecan used

Elaborate propaganda kept the ratepayers bemused



By setting distant time lines there was never any doubt

The Council could procrastinate before they were found out


The angler made of sterner stuff surveyed the damage he could see

Much of it attributed to nitrate from cow pee


He measured polluted rivers taking care and taking time

Nitrate in the Selwyn River reached four times the “bottom line”


He reported this to Ecan, to a member of the staff

His protest went unanswered but might have raised a laugh


He reported to the Council but the results were much the same

A circular discussion as to who was NOT to blame


The evidence was tabled once accepted all agreed

Situation unacceptable for action there is need


So thank you for your evidence you really are well read

Now would you like another meeting or a cup of tea instead?


Cartoonists have highlighted the ruing of rivers with intensive farming, now poets are wading in on the argument





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2 Responses to Would You Like Another Meeting Or a Cup Of Tea Instead?

  1. Nicholas Lorenz says:

    What a great poem making the mickey out of ignorant MPs like Nick Smith. Gee, he has a lot to answer for. He made a mockery of the cabinet portfolio of Minister for the Environment. So did John Key, to the post of prime minister. Key was knighted. That belittles knighthoods to the extreme.

  2. Angus McGregor says:

    Agree. John Key’s legacy is shameful. Try googling “BBC Hard Talk John Key NZ Clean Green” and see how sick he looked when a hard, fair, forthright interviewer challenged him about NZ’s mythical clean green 100% pure claim. Key was a failure for both his party National and NZ.

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